Livin' in the Burbs

Our neighbor lady to the west is ,I swear, The Wicked Witch of the West. Not only does she act like it, she looks like it. She is VERY mean. She has no idea what our names are or what we are like, she just comes over to yell at us because our dog barks when we are not home in the middle of the day. She says that's when she sleeps. My mom was over the other day, and the lady came out in a mumu and starts yelling at our dog. She was barking because my mom was in our back yard, but the lady didn't see her and just starts yelling. My mom said later, "a wicked witch really does live next door." Now she believes us.

So, the other day Emmett is sleeping while we are at the store and our dog starts barking and wakes him up. He looks outside to see about three hispanic guys from the apartments behind us on our fence trying to pick peaches from our tree. When they saw him they took off, but Emmett told them to come back and told them that he didn't mind if they took the peaches except that it makes our dog bark, which makes the lady next door upset. They just said "you don't need the fruit?" I felt bad for them because I think they were hungry. Emmett said "no, you just make the dog bark is all." I wanted to pick all the fruit for them from our pear tree too.

It's sad when people have to pick fruit from their neighbors trees in order to eat and the neighbors get yelled at by the lady that sleeps in the middle of the day because the dog is trying to protect them from the starving people.

Our other neighbor is an anal 80 year old woman who hates plants. She is so anal that she mops the walkway up to her house and sweeps the gutters when they are to dusty. She also lives to drive Emmett and I crazy....

Old Lady: "Eleanor, when are you guys going to cut down this pine tree? I always have YOUR pine needles in MY yard."

Eleanor: "Sorry, I like this tree, it's the only one we have in the front yard."

Old Lady: "Eleanor, your tree is crossing over on my property line. Do you mind if I call some people to cut those branches off?"

Eleanor: "Go for it!"

Old Lady: "Eleanor, we need to get a new fence this one is falling down and I want white vinyl because all by other fences are white."

Eleanor: "I don't think we can afford it right now."

Old Lady: "Eleanor, when we get the new fence was Emmett planning on cutting down any branches on your cherry tree or your apricot tree? They're getting really gangly on my side."

Eleanor: "I don't know."

Old lady: "Eleanor, do you mind if while I'm having your tree in the front yard trimmed, if I just had those trimmed at the same time?"

Eleanor: "Whatever."

I could go on, but I must tell you how she asked Emmett if we were going to get rid of the pretty Virginia Creeper that I was to excited had finally climbed up the house and fence. She says, "I'll get rid of it for you." Emmett says he'll get to it later, that we just haven't had time. The next thing I know, IT'S GONE! ALL of it. Then I come home the other day and she's just finished weeding my garden and killing all living things.

Eleanor: "Thanks, but you REALLY didn't need to do that."

Old Lady: "It was my pleasure."

AAAHHHH!!!!!!

Well, I guess that's just livin' in the burbs!